


Cause for Celebration

by samurai-ashes (ashes)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-28
Updated: 2010-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashes/pseuds/samurai-ashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by a conversation with nenya & kagemihari, though God willing I don't remember who said what to start where or why. I just remember liking the idea so much that I had to write it. And so I did, with great thanks to both of them for pitching in ideas to make it work out. Insert much heart-age here.</p></blockquote>





	Cause for Celebration

"Niisama," I said softly, looking in at him from the doorframe of his bedroom; he looked back at me from the laptop on his desk. I took a second to drink in the sight of him, memorizing it: his hair was slight tousled from shifting, probably running his hands through it, and the corners of his lips were turned up in the slightest smile. "Can you come celebrate with me? I have my eye on a bottle of champagne in the study, and I don't want to drink alone."

"You shouldn't be drinking at all," he said softly, hardly an admonition, and turned away from his laptop, standing and cracking his knuckles. He looked so noble, like nothing could conquer him. Except me. Of all the snakes that were eventually going to bite the hand that fed them, I was the one to strike Niisama first… because I loved him. How many snakes could say that? "Well, then – which one is it?" he asked as he walked past me, crooked grin tugging at the side of his mouth. "And what are we celebrating?"

"I'm officially sixteen, Niisama!" I pouted, chasing after him; even at my age, I still had to rush a little to keep up with his stride. When I was eighteen, I would be just as tall as he was now, and…

There wasn't a defining moment when I decided I was going to be the one to take Niisama's life; it was a sort of latent knowledge that I couldn't escape. It wasn't like I'd ever been under some illusion that Niisama liked his life – I mean, sure, I'd hoped, but it was one of those false hopes that helped me sleep at night, placated me long enough to make it to the morning without worrying too much.

One night when I was thirteen I stopped pretending and I thought back on it. I realized – no, I remembered that Niisama had never really expressed an interest in living. He had even tried his hand at death once; no one told me, not then, but I had put two-and-two together… that is, I overheard the doctor telling Gozaburo about Niisama's recovery.

He had been eleven years old, and even then, he wanted to die.

When I remembered, the first thing I did was rush out to employee housing, to the only employee to make it under Niisama's radar when he fired Gozaburo's workers and made her tell me about it, everything she knew. She didn't pull one punch, spelled it out word for word: Niisama thought something bad had happened to me before he… did what he thought he had to do. I made my decision right away. If I was so damned important that Niisama would die for me, then he would die by my hand. It was the least I could do for him.

It started small; for years Niisama had been taking migraine medication, two with breakfast, two with dinner – I replaced one pill in each of his doses every few days, watching him get a little sicker over the months; it propagated the rumor that 'Kaiba Seto's health is in decline'. After all, if he were to suddenly die it would be suspicious, and I wasn't looking to go to jail. Niisama wouldn't rest peacefully if I screwed up like that. My goal was that he would live until I was old enough to take over in his stead. Sixteen seemed like a steady age; he had been able to do so much more, so much younger. I had taken up with the board behind his back, made all the arrangements using my power as Niisama's second-in-command, and I bided my time.

Midnight had turned, and I was sixteen.

"Mokuba, are you paying any attention to me?"

Shaking my head, I looked up at Niisama sheepishly. He was holding up a bottle that I had left out, open beside a filled glass; after making the proper arrangements, I'd made sure to wipe the bottle down. "Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I asked why you only poured one glass."

"I wasn't sure you'd come, so I didn't want to waste perfectly good champagne," I lied, smiling and nodding towards the glass on the coffee table. "You can have that one; I'll pour myself another."

He made it too easy. "I'll get it." I waited, watching him pour a glass – making sure I didn't end up with the wrong one. If I made that mix up this far into the game… Sure enough, he handed me the glass he'd just poured and went to his own poisoned glass, leaning down to retrieve it. "Well, what's your plan?"

"Outside." I walked by him, hooked my arm through his and dragged him out onto the patio. I couldn't have begged for a more perfect night to be Niisama's last. The sky was clear, and the air was crisp; beside me, he took a deep breath. "A toast, then?" I suggested, turning to face him. "We can sit here and enjoy our drinks. It'll make a perfect birthday."

"Of course." He clinked his glass against mine without any real fluid or grace. "Happy birthday, little brother." He took a large sip of his drink, then sat down on the steps. I took a much smaller drink as I joined him, watching him. "Are you happy?" he asked, staring at me like he was doing the same thing I was – trying to burn me into his memory, like he was scared he'd forget. Like I knew I was.

"Very. You?"

He nodded, finally looking away, but his free hand fell to mine on the steps – for the first time in a long time, he held my hand. "More than I expected." He took another drink, and I could feel it in his hand against mine, his pulse. When his breathing should have been getting heavier, he was taking great care to keep it even. I squeezed his hand in return.

"You know what makes me sad about the night sky?" I leaned my head against his shoulder, inhaling his scent and willing myself to keep my tears in; he rested against me in return, and he felt heavy. I wasn't ready…! I took a deep breath. "That all these stars are beautiful; I could look at them all night, but so many have been dead for a long time. To the rest of the world they just burn on and on, even though there's nothing left."

He chuckled breathily, nodding. "Yeah. Really sad."

The silence was killing me, even more as he downed the rest of his drink – he didn't need any more, I didn't want to do this anymore…! It was hard when the best choice for my big brother was the hardest one I'd ever make. "You trust me, Niisama?" I asked, sounding so much like I had when I was little. I wasn't sure if that'd make him happy or sad.

"More than you can ever imagine," he replied sleepily. "Be happy."

"Yeah. I'll always be happy, Niisama."

We kept watching the stars, and eventually his grip on my hand loosened. He fell completely silent; I couldn't even hear his pulse when I pressed my head to neck. Nodding, I pulled away just enough – I couldn't bear to let go of him, even if I knew I couldn't wait too long to call the police. I just… Not yet. I wanted to keep him just mine, a little bit longer.

The papers were impressed with me, with my "calm adjustment to Kaiba's untimely death." It was only because they didn't see how it had been that first night, while cops and ambulances were scouring the downstairs, after they'd asked me all my questions. They weren't there when the sun rose on my first day without my big brother, they didn't know what I knew that morning.

They weren't there when the lawyers and the cops took me aside – it took them both less than an hour to get into Niisama's will to see how things were supposed to be. "It's… hard to accept," the cop had told me slowly, looking at me like I was the most pitiable creature he'd ever seen. The lawyer just looked at this envelope he was holding, like it was a million times more interesting than me, "but your brother… He's paid good money to have this taken care of."

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly, looking from the envelope to the cop. "His funeral?"

"No, the… the investigation. Have you seen his will, son?" I shook my head, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Probably didn't even see it coming," he muttered, taking a deep breathe and returning his attention to me. "His will makes it very clear that he doesn't want his suicide investigated. I called the top, and they… They say to respect his last wishes. I'm sorry." The man cursed, walking away and murmuring that Niisama managed to buy the system even after he was dead.

Suicide. The word rang through my ears, louder than my heartbeat; it had been my intent to portray that, but I hadn't… He couldn't have… I looked at his lawyer, who handed over the envelope he was so enthralled with; when he held it out to me, I could see my name written across the front. "For your eyes only, lying next to his laptop," the man said curtly.

With shaking hands I tore open to top crease of the envelope, taking out a paper folded into threes. For such a large paper, the message was simple.

'Thank you.'

I ran for his bedroom, ignoring the cop calling out behind me. No, he couldn't have, there was no way… I nearly skidded into his desk, slamming my palms against the wooden surface on either side of his laptop, eyes skimming every word there. He hadn't been working when I interrupted; there, he had laid out the details of his death; poisoned drink, the migraine pills – he'd been leaps ahead of me the whole time. Just like always, I had been trying too hard to keep up with him, keep ahead of him.

"Niisama… When I'm eighteen," my voice shook, and I swallowed heavily, trying to stop myself from crying. I'd told myself that I'd at least honor Niisama by not crying _again_. Our entire childhood, all I'd done was cry. "When I'm eighteen, I'll be as tall as you were, and if you were here, I wouldn't be straggling in your footsteps – I'll be matching them."

 **-end-**

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with nenya & kagemihari, though God willing I don't remember who said what to start where or why. I just remember liking the idea so much that I had to write it. And so I did, with great thanks to both of them for pitching in ideas to make it work out. Insert much heart-age here.


End file.
